Slow and steady wins the race?

My official time for my very first half marathon some three years ago was 2 hours 48 minutes and some change. Simply to have finished was miraculous considering I hadn't really trained for it. And I didn't really consider myself a runner.(I know) I was mainly going through the motions and crossing off my goal of completing a half marathon for my 40th birthday.

I never considered I would delve so deep into running that I would start reading books about running. Hubby had a few running books that he had collected through the years that he had been running. A few editions of  The Lore of Running and Born to Run and a few others including non running books about endurance and such. I don't know if you've ever seen the book The Lore of Running but it's a pretty big book.  Like REALLY big.  The first book I ever bought myself as a runner was The Runner's Body co written by Matt Fitzgerald.  It was concise with many illustrations. A quick read with lot's of valuable information about the runner's body.  Just the kind of book I like.  So, after a bit of research I discovered more books by Matt Fitzgerald.* I even found him on Twitter and Facebook and often joke with him about how he once almost followed me. I have become quite obsessed with Matt Fitzgerald books about running. And well, running.

For the record, it's not just me. Apparently, it has become the obsession of many. Young and old. A quick Google search about running brings up thousands and thousands of links. The content ranges from how to improve your form, how to get faster, how to find the right shoes, how to fuel properly and on and on. When I stumbled upon a Runner's World article about running slow to get fast I had to read it. And actually the article had me from the word "slow".   The Big Book of Endurance by Phil Maffetone was again, another REALLY big book. What I got from the sample read: train in a certain heart rate zone for optimal race results.    S  L   O    W.  To go fast.  

As if by telepathy, Matt Fitzgerald announced his book 80/20 Running available for pre order. Even though I didn't exactly know what the book was about, the fact that it was about running AND was written by Matt Fitzgerald was good enough for me. Plus I had just read Diet Cults by him and I have to say that there is just something about his writing that I get. Diet Cults as it's name implies is about every diet you've ever heard of and/or tried. Awesome book.

I waited patiently for 80/20 Running and then the night before the release I got it on my iPad. I started reading and I couldn't get to sleep. The information was flowing into my brain and I couldn't get enough.

I had many questions about 80/20 Running. No. I had many questions about MY running. How much of  my running do I spend at a low intensity? And how much at a high intensity, ie speed work, intervals, tempo runs.  Do I know know how to gauge low intensity? Or high intensity? So now I'll ask you : Do YOU know how much of your workouts you spend at LI or  HI ? Take a guess. Is it close to 80/20? Or is it more 50/50? Or something else? Read on. 

The 80/20 formula has been around for centuries,but the term 80/20 wasn't attached to this "formula" right away. Coaches simply put it into play with their athletes. But what is it?  Simple. Train 80% at a low intensity. Spend the other 20 at high intensity.  Now, I'm not talking about EACH run. I'm talking about your training. Now you're probably asking what is considered low intensity. Well, I will just say that for me, it's slow. Keep in my mind that MY slow is different from your slow. It is very individual. As I've progressed as a runner, my slow is someone else's fast.  And my fast is someone else's slow. It's all relative.

With all the books out there about how to improve your form, race times etc.,  I have not encountered one that tells you how to do that without injury. Until 80/20 Running. Now, he doesn't tell you specifically how to avoid injury, but the formula itself is built around some key items. One being overuse injuries. I can't tell you how many people I know right now that are suffering from some type of running injury. And having been there before, I can tell you it's no fun. At all. Down time means not doing what you love. And I haven't always loved running, but since I have implemented the 80/20 formula to my training I have had little to no running related injuries. 

Let me tell you a little something about myself. I had no running experience whatsoever 3 years ago. None. I once completed a 5k in a sprint triathlon in 2009, but that's it.  Fast forward to 2014 and I have completed 2 more half marathons, one being a very difficult trail race, one 10k and my very first marathon. And as of this post I am 260 days into my running streak. Not too shabby for a non runner. But what I have learned about running has helped me become a better runner. Not necessarily a fast runner, but a faster runner than I had been 3 years ago for my first half marathon. Every day is learning day. If you want to be good at running? Run. A lot. Want to be good at swimming? Swim. A lot. Pretty simple right? Sort of. Like anything though, you can have too much of a good thing. Running a lot or swimming a lot, or bicycling a lot leads to BURNOUT. BIG TIME. Plus, the bigger concern of over training which almost always leads to injury.

The beauty of 80/20 Running is the valuable research that went into it. There is no fluff in this book. It is a "meat and potatoes" kinda book.  Gives you what you need, including brilliant training plans for any distance, a detailed intensity control guide for 80/20 workouts and so much more.If you would rather get coaching in your ear, head over to PEAR Sports where you can purchase Matt's 80/20 Running training plans.

While I'm okay with never winning any race, it doesn't mean that I can't dream of someday placing somewhere in my age group. Slow and steady in my training will get me there! 

*******One lucky person will get a SIGNED copy of 80/20 Running in my #fewofmyfavoritethingsgiveaway happening THIS Friday. (12/5) on my Facebook Page

*Also by Matt Fitzgerald:

The New Rules of Marathon and Half Marathon Nutrition

Racing Weight Cookbook

Racing Weight

RUN: The Mind-Body Method of Running by Feel

The Runner's Body (with Ross Tucker and Jonathan Dugas)

Runner's World The Cutting-Edge Runner

The Runner's Edge (with Stephen McGregor)

Runner's World Performance Nutrition for Runners

Brain Training for Runners

Run Faster from the 5k to the Marathon (with Brad Hudson)

Not related to running but a great read:

Diet Cults

A few of my favorite things

You may have seen my post a while back on my Facebook page introducing you to Arty Water. It's been a while and I just finished up my free samples. I wanted to let you  know what I really thought about Arty Water. And with the holidays approaching I thought it would be fun to have a giveaway of some of Bitchinrunner's favorite things. One of which happen to be Arty Water.

In case you missed my post on Arty Water, I'll share this link with you so you can read all about it! Ingredients are minimal and you can pronounce everything. That's pretty awesome!

If I had to choose one word to describe the way it tastes, I would say 'clean'. Weird maybe, but to me it doesn't get any better than that. I love coconut water, but it has a heavy taste. If you get coconut water with pulp it's filling. While filling isn't always bad, sometimes when I'm done with a run or workout I want refreshing and light. Water is refreshing, but let's face it, after you've lost lots of sweat you need something that helps you replenish what you lost. Water doesn't do that. Arty Water does. As for pre workout, Arty Water leaves me feeling energized and ready to tackle my run and I know I'll stay on the right side of hydration.


What does it taste like? To me, it tastes like tea. It has peppermint and a hint of lemon. Heat it up and you've got yourself a delicious warm beverage for these cold mornings and nights. Which by the way, I LOVE the cooler weather. There is nothing like breathing in the crisp air.

My samples were enjoyed at various times in place of water, coconut water and occasional caffeinated beverage (coffee or iced tea). Before and after running and sometimes just because.
I felt hydrated and refreshed after having Arty Water. No heavy stomach feeling, no stomach problems. Nothing. Did I mention it's full of antioxidants? Did I also mention its a natural anti inflammatory? What's not to like about that? Yes, I know what you're thinking. You were given samples and I have to say something nice. The folks at Arty Water wanted my honest feedback about it and I'm a pretty honest person. If I hated it, I would say so. Free or not.

Bottom line: I truly enjoyed my samples. I am sad they're all gone quite honestly.

The last 2 bottles I took with me to Denver for my marathon. If you're like me, after a long run or a hard race your appetite is just not there. This was the feeling I had after my marathon. Immediately after I could not think about eating anything at all. When we got back to the hotel, my family was naming off stuff in the fridge for me to have. Gatorade, coconut water, water, soda, beer. Nothing sounded good. Then my daughter said Arty Water !  I totally forgot I brought It! I think I chugged it in one gulp. It was EXACTLY what I needed! Minutes later I felt like I could eat something so I devoured the red velvet cupcake my daughter bought me. 

So, what have you got to lose? Stay tuned for the details on this giveaway and find out what else made my favorite things list for more giveaways.

Road trippin it to crazy

I never minded long trips as a kid. At least that's MY memory of it. My parents and siblings would probably say differently.  I knew the destination and the fun that lie ahead so I was okay with the miles, the bathroom/gas stops and annoying siblings. I was probably the annoying one!  The build up to the camping trip or California was an exciting time.  School days dragged on for what seemed like forever.  But when the time came, it was pure joy.

With a week to go before my marathon, I began prepping for the big day. The training was done and it was now "Go Time"  Time to believe in the run. Trust the training. Yet, the doubts crept in. I blame the taper.

How does one mentally prepare for 26.2 miles? The farthest I'd run was 20 miles, and I almost didn't even get that far.  Close enough some say. You don't want to put undo stress on your body or risk injury.  I probably could have gone to 22 or even 24. Would it have mattered? Probably not. Unless you've run the whole distance it's hard to know how to REALLY prepare. When race day comes, there are too many variables.

All week I drank my water, ate my food  yada yada yada.  I had it all figured out. Even my "cycle" was on board beforehand to remove that from race day stress.. Or so I thought.  I had experienced the challenge during my first and only triathlon and it was in fact a stressful time, not to mention quite the energy zapper. But I finished. And as you know, I will never do another.

We arrived to our hotel on Friday evening and then headed downtown to the expo for packet pickup. After a ton of traffic and a slight detour thanks to Siri, we were in the heart of downtown Denver. I usually don't linger at expos BUT I  really wanted to go check out InkNburn. I REALLY needed some arm sleeves. NEEDED them since it was cold. I had a light long sleeve shirt I had planned on wearing but I knew it would warm up and didn't want to just throw it. So the 4arms were a necessity.  Plus they have some really cool shit that you don't see everywhere. PLUS they had a limited edition Denver bag that I wanted. PLUS, it was free with purchase.

Saturday we took the light rail back to downtown to check out the zombie crawl and to grab some lunch. It was a great day walking around 16th street mall with my husband, daughter, son in law and grandson. They had taken time off of work to come cheer me on. I was so grateful to have them there. My son stayed behind to dog and house sit and I missed him there. We headed back to the hotel, had dinner and I got my gear all ready and called it a night.

As with other races, I woke up every hour looking at the clock. I had set an alarm but feared I would sleep through it.  I didn't.  I woke up at around 4:30 and had my normal pre race meal. Half English muffin with almond butter, bananas and honey and a shot of espresso. I made my way to the bathroom a few times before we left the hotel and almost missed the light rail. I didn't want to mess with the lines at the porta potties so I thought I would go again.Yikes.

Tailwind was mixed and ready in my handheld. I sipped on that to the start line, then dumped what was left in the Mazama. A few days before, I decided to use my Mazama hydration waist pack with Tailwind as I wasn't sure I would be comfortable with the handheld for 26+ miles

Made it to the start and ran a little to warm up. Did some stretching and then made my way through the crowds to my corral. Number 12. The previous Rock n Roll series in Arizona I had participated in the events were separated. Half marathon and Marathon starts were in separate locations. This event everyone was corralled together. We were squished pretty tight in there. A few elbows in my face and stepped on toes I was NOT a happy camper. It seemed like forever. And then my time had come.

The first couple of strides were awkward. I hadn't run with the hydration pack in a while and it felt heavy on my back. I thought about ditching it, but I knew I just needed to get used to it. My hydration and fuel were in this pack. I was depending on it. I couldn't ditch it.  Silly me.  I had to keep reminding myself to calm down and "conserve". I didn't feel like I was going too fast, I just didn't feel like I was going slow enough. A weird feeling. For the other races, I knew I could push myself a bit without feeling like I was compromising anything. This was my first 26.2 however. I could not afford a breakdown or hitting a wall. Conserve I said, conserve. So, I tried my best. At the 5k mark I was at 31 minutes. Pretty good I told myself. Conserve. Conserve. Conserve. Then right before the 10k mark I had to use the porta potty. A few people in line ahead and all I could do was wait. Tick tock. I was a little over the hour mark at that point. Conserve. Conserve. No TP in the porta potty. Damn. Too early to sacrifice a sock I thought. It was at that time I realized that I was spotting. Yep. That and my hydration pack was leaking all over my back and butt. Any smart girl would have brought along the necessary equipment, but I thought I was in the clear. Guess not. It wasn't enough to have me that worried at that point so I pulled up my big girl panties and went on my way.

The course had me all over the place in and around downtown. Weather had warmed up just a bit with a cool breeze here and there. At mile 9 I saw my husband holding his phone waiting to capture me running by.  Only he missed me.  I literally started hollering and waving my arms like a mad woman to get his attention and he was distracted by what I found out later was one person on the course accusing another person of cheating. There was a bridge with a slight incline and this person went to the flat part of the bridge on the pedestrian walk instead of the course. Any-who.  He ran ahead of me to grab this shot.

Taking in the sights and cheers of the course was a nice distraction. But somewhere around mile 11 my mind was on aunt flow (sorry guys) Another stop at the porta potty which was located next to one of the medical tents. Just in case.I wondered if they would have feminine hygiene products. Oh dear! Once again, I pressed on. My pace slowed and I was now running alongside a man. We ran together for a while around the park and had a nice chat. I asked how he was. He said his legs were lacking energy and felt heavy. We slowed to walk and chatted a bit more finally exchanging names and then I continued on ahead of him wishing each other well as we separated. Somewhere around mile 16 my stomach started complaining. Not from lack of fuel. It was AN-GRY. With no porta potty in sight I hopped into a local coffee shop and high tailed it to the bathroom. Minutes later I was back on the course singing "On the road again. I can't wait to get on the road again"

I had no idea that I would get to see my family a few miles after that. There at mile 18 was my hubby, daughter, son in law and grandson. I was beyond emotional. I tried my best to keep in together but tears were welling up in my eyes as I hugged everyone. I hated to leave them, but I was not done. I took off and my grandson was running behind me. It was exactly what I needed at that moment.

A few minutes later I caught up with Roger. "I thought you were way ahead of me" he said. I replied, "I had a bit of tummy trouble"  He responded, "Are you feeling better?" I said "Yes, I am" I asked how he was. He said, "I run when I can run but I'm walking a lot" So, I walked a while with him. We talked about how cruel it was that we could hear the finish line cheering at that mile marker. 21. He asked how I was feeling. I told him my quads were screaming at me. He said, "They hate you" AMEN.  Haha.  He said, "Jog with me"  We continued at a pretty slow pace. Walking and jogging alternately.  Then when he stopped to walk he said, "Finish strong" and I continued on ahead of him.

Miles 22,23 and 24 were around a few lakes.  Beautiful scenery as the leaves were bursting with color and the ducks were quacking and waddling around. Around the park there were several people who had stopped. Shaking out legs, stretching. Broken.  I felt a tremendous amount of sympathy for them. I was fortunate. I felt tired, sure. My quads were on fire. I was chugging along like the little engine that could. But I was good. My only fuel had been Tailwind in my leaky pack and a few cups of water. I had to spit once when the gunk was too much in the back of my throat, but overall I felt good.


When I got to mile 25 I wasn't sure how I felt. Much like the road trips I took as a kid I was excited that the destination was now within reach. The joy was around the corner. The miles were done. Yet, the fact that it was over was bittersweet. Just ahead I could hear the cheers of the crowd and then really, really loud screaming. A scream I knew. It was my daughter. "Yeah MOM!!, WOOHOO!!" I was overcome with emotion. I could feel my eyes tearing. At that exact moment, my grandson escaped through the gap in the barricade and ran to me. I grabbed his hand and we ran to the finish. As we approached the finish, my name was announced. I wanted to cry, but how could I?1 Instead I laughed. I smiled. I had finished what I set out to do. The destination was the reward, but the true reward was the journey. And oh what a journey it had been. Official time 5:06:08.

Trail running. Road to crazy

As a kid my parents loaded up our silver Airstream trailer and took us deep into the mountains of Arizona. It was a summer trip we looked forward to.

Hubby and I tried our luck a few times taking our kids camping. The very first excursion into the wilderness was a memorable one. We found a nice spot to settle in and after just a few minutes we all heard the sound of cracking. Like a tree was about to fall. And then more cracking and a loud THUD ! TIMBER! That would have been perfect for the situation but honestly, I thought I was gonna shit myself.  The good news is that I didn't. Also good news, we now had a shit ton of firewood. The bad news: I didn't sleep a wink that night fearing another tree would fall on our tent.

Second trip was just as fun. NOT. We were invited to go to the lake with my sister in law and naturally we took our tent.  No trees near the lake. Just sandy beach. What could possibly go wrong? Pitched our tent for the night and the wind came. The tent poles that hold the fabric structure together snapped. I shit you not. Snapped in two. I seriously thought we were going to get picked up by strong gusts of wind and end up in the nearby lake. Good news is, we didn't. Bad news is, we no longer had a tent and spent the night in our truck. Sane people would have high tailed it the eff outta there. But not us. Oh no. We waited until morning so we could safely find our way out without driving into the lake.

Our adventures in camping left a bad taste in my mouth so we've never been back to visit the forest. Until this past weekend. My very first trail race. Now, we didn't do any camping, just "visited"  We stayed in a hotel not too far from the Flagstaff Nordic Center We arrived late the night before but had everything in check and ready for my race at 9 am Saturday.

I woke up refreshed (or maybe just excited) and had my pre race nutrition. Opted out of the Tailwind for this race as the aid stations had  Hammer Nutrition (which I've used before without issue) and water if needed. We arrived a few hours early to pick up my race packet. Air was cool and the Nordic Center did NOT disappoint. Got my bib on and went to pee a few times. This had hubby concerned that I would be dehydrated for the race still 2 hours away. I had been drinking lots of fluids over the course of the days leading up to the race including that morning, so I shrugged it off.  (Pre race smirk)

My initial thought when I signed up for this race was to use it as a training run for my full marathon and just go out and have fun, but still wanted to shoot for a time.  I started out with a goal of 2:30, but after hearing some of the runners talk about their last years BEST times for marathon (4:30) I told hubby not to expect me before 3 hours. The horn blew promptly at 9am. Off I went.

First couple of miles were good. Slight elevation change but nothing drastic. Miles 3-4 were getting a bit more difficult. Still, not a HUGE deal.  Then I tripped on a rock. Then another. And another. If I had to guess it was probably 1 rock per mile -at least. Nothing rattles you more than a few close calls with your face in the ground. I became more timid and slow watching my every step. I removed my sunglasses and put them on the bill of my cap to help visually. Looking down and ahead was the strategy and yet I still managed more run ins with the rocks and rough terrain. I wasn't the only one. 2 miles in a one guy went down hard. Think he twisted his ankle. Poor guy. I asked if he was okay or needed help. He said no. Started my descent and reached the half way marker near where we started. Was nice to hear the cheering. Happy to see hubby too.

I ran a bit with a guy who had done this race the last 2 years. Last year he said he fell and hit his head pretty hard. Ouch. He also said there was a huge hill at mile 10 to look out for. Thanks for that I said. And he was gone. After the halfway  point I removed my cap to get a little fresh air on my head and dry off the sweat. It wasn't until a good half mile later I realized my sunglasses were on my cap and I had lost them. Pretty bummed, I stopped and headed back in the direction to see if I could find them. They were a gift for my 40th birthday/first half marathon gift so they are special to me.  After several hundred feet of looking I gave up and started back up the hill for the second half of this mountain race.  I took in a little water at one of the aid stations and later some Hammer Nutrition at the 8 mile marker. I knew what lied ahead. Would I have been better not knowing? I wondered. You know your mind starts playing tricks on you.

Going into this race I had never run any trails. The trails around my house are in fact paths that lead to other paths. Not technically trails.  I call them trails because they're not asphalt. They're a soft surface where all the dogs like to shit. Nothing more. No huge rocks and other stuff that can trip you up. Just small pebbles. The hills I run around my house were nothing compared to what was on this trail. NOTHING. Altitude was a few thousand feet more than the 5600+ I run here in Albuquerque. so was I prepared for this race?  Yes and no.

From their website: The Flagstaff Marathon is 100% off-road with varying (single-track, cross-country, dirt roads) terrain. Elevation gains are only 2200 feet for the full marathon, 1100 feet for the half-marathon, and 450 feet for the 10Km loop.  The course ranges from 8000 feet to 8600 feet above sea level. The marathon has been described as the most scenic and difficult marathon in the Southwest. 

Mile 10 came and the only thing I could say is "this is f/?):$:$:) ridiculous ". Literally said this a few hundred times. I was like "WHO DOES THIS?!"  Then a quick  "I DO". Shut me up real quick. Quit your bitchin, bitchin!  That was that.

During that 10th mile hill from hell, I happened upon several runners who had also stopped to walk and mentioned that I had lost my glasses. One lady pulls out the recognizable white framed Oakley's and says "Are these them?"  I almost lost my shit. I seriously wanted to hug her right there in the middle of the forest. I couldn't believe it. My glasses that I thought were long gone were in my hands! A miracle. I say thank you a million times and we keep going. Mile 10 was a fricking beast! It was the never ending hill. A race marshal out on the course said "you're almost to the down hill". Key word "almost". A few of us started cheering and shouting! The "almost" he was talking about didn't happen for at least another mile and a half.  But man, when that time came it was exhilarating. And scary. The last thing I needed was to trip on the way down. So, very carefully I scanned the ground for my next steps and maneuvered the tricky landscape that was familiar and unfamiliar.

Just ahead the sound of the runners crossing the finish mat with the unmistakable 'BEEP' was music to my ears. I was so close, yet not. Wanting to make up some time I considered going a little faster but as soon as I thought that another rock greeted my tired feet.

There I was, in the last few strides of this tough course and I couldn't help but laugh. Laughing makes everything better,  right? I was happy and my body felt like I had been through a 10 round boxing match with an elephant. My ass, quads and hammies were screaming and yet I was okay with it. I spent a good portion of that run on my own on a well marked course (thank goodness) and not even a bear could have made me run faster, but I was willing to play dead to keep me alive JUST so I could finish this race.

It was by far the hardest thing I've ever done to this point. I'm sure next month I'll be singing a different tune.  Official time:  2:34:30


P.S. A post race meal at In n Out is tradition.  Hubby drove me about 2 hours in the other direction of home just to have a Double Double Animal Style. (which I couldn't finish)

Now onto crazy. (Denver)








Next up: Nutrition.  What is it good for? Absolutely everything.

Beyond 14

I went to visit my dad the other day.  He asked if I was still running.  "Yes, dad. Still running"  It was my 170th day of streaking.  The idea that I'm streaking to him is crazy. But as runners, we take "crazy" as a compliment.

I admit, it's crazy even to ME that I've gone this far with it. But crazy is as crazy does. 

So, I'm doing. 

Finally doing my first whole crazy. That's right, 26.2! That's in one month. But before I tackle that, I have another half crazy in just a week! Another first for me..a trail race. Here's hoping I can stay vertical. If you don't follow me on Facebook, you can do so here. That way you're in the loop and don't have to wait for a blog post.

Here we are, 20 weeks into my informal training plan and I've tackled a few long runs, intervals and tempo runs. When I see the long runs in my training schedule I freak out a little. The last 14 miler I attempted back in February was a huge failure. I had pain on the outside of my right knee and pushed through 8 miles with pain. Granted it was more of a hobble, then a run or walk, but I was too stubborn to stop.

Stubborn got me a front row seat on my couch for a while catching up on The Young and the Restless and yet another character change."Phyllis" was pushed down the stairwell and is in a coma with a new face and body. Pretty remarkable. In between the daytime TV drama and character switcharoo I went to work on fixing myself. No, not the stubbornness. There's no fixing that. But I'm learning.

ITBS. When I first saw this I thought of IBS. Ya. I did. It's not the same ! Shocking. If you know what ITBS is then you know it's not related to the other. Iliotibial Band Syndrome is a common injury to runners. Mostly due to overuse. I took to the internet to learn more about how to prevent it and how to make myself better. I looked at several videos and discovered this one. I highly recommend it.

Don't underestimate the power in your ass, hamstrings and quads! Strengthen them and you will never have an issue. I have been pain free since March. It's a beautiful thing. When you feel good, you perform good. Period.

Part of feeling good has a lot to do with what's on your feet. My love of Altra's is no secret. Their shoes are the best thing that ever happened to me as a runner. I put on my first pair for my HM in January and while I should have spent a little more time in them before the race, I haven't worn any other brand since. My collection has grown quite a bit. My latest is the Lone Peak 1.5 for my upcoming trail race. But before those I bought the One2  This shoe is Ah- May- Zing! Better than the Torin's which I also love. But the One2's are ridiculously awesome. Like seriously. Go buy a pair.

Besides shoes, but just as important if not MORE important is nutrition. Let's face it, there are lots and lots of options out there.  From gels to drinks and everything in between, you are bound to find something that works for you.  It may take you a while and lots of samples, but you'll get it. I found something that works.  Read on.......

While I don't have a ton of experience as a runner, I've learned a few things along the way. Mostly from trial and error, stubbornness and a lot of it from all the great pages I follow on Facebook. Besides all the great info, there is a ton of support and encouragement from this community of runners. I invite you to check it out.

Attempting the next few long runs was going to require some encouragement and support from my family and of course my FB family.  I was truly overwhelmed with everyone's kind and encouraging words. I felt confident in getting this 16 miler done. My gadgets were charged, including my Avantree Jogger*, my shoes were tied and mentally I was pumped!


Off I went one Sunday morning before the sun came up to take in the fresh air and enjoy my long run. I opted for the route that takes me through a portion of my city. It's a mix of hills, both up and down and flat in some spots. I like the variety. Bonus is smelling the bacon frying from the Village Inn, Ihop, and coffee from Starbucks. Not to get off the subject here but I read something not too long ago about how it might be possible to get the effects/benefits of carbs by just smelling them. Huh? Okay, well, it was something along those lines.  Listen, I've never been a great joke teller. I somehow manage to mess up the punch line...Every. Single. Time.

Moving on.  I cranked along the first 8 miles no problem. I didn't bring any water so I stopped at a convenience store for a little sip of water with a splash of coke. Contemplating a snack for the way back, I remembered all the advice. Stick to what you know. Don't add anything new.  Truth is, I didn't feel hungry,but it's not about feeling hungry. It's about taking in the nutrition you NEED. I finished up my coke water and after a quick assessment of my body. No pain? Check. Sweat dripping? Check. I headed back. The visualization technique I use is probably one you've used yourself. I picture myself at a certain place in my route. Say the corner of Southern and 528. Roughly 6 miles from my current location. When I get to that location, I then visualize myself in the trail that leads to my house. And so on. The last location I visualized was in front of the fridge shoveling every piece of food in my mouth. Must have been too much for my stomach to bear, because I suddenly got a side stitch with 2 miles left to go.  I was in the home stretch with a side stitch. Awesome.

When I made it to my driveway I half expected to see a group of family and friends with lots of food and balloons and such. No. Really.  And a great big sign "You are bitchin, bitchin!" (that was for Kathryn)  While I was a little disappointed there was no DJ playing my favorite songs and there was no medal with my page name "Bitchinrunner" inscribed with a "Sweet 16" on it, I was relieved and pretty amazed at my mental and physical toughness.  Later that day, my beautiful daughter and grandson brought me my favorite ice cream and some homemade lavender soap for my soak in the tub.

Just this past Sunday I went back out to the streets for the second to the last of my long runs in my training schedule. Eighteen miles was on tap for the day and this time I packed my Mazama Side Stream**  with my lemon Tailwind Nutrition***  Before my 16 miler I had some Greek yogurt with berries and honey with an almond Perfect Bar crumbled in for breakfast and it suited my needs. Trying to stay consistent with my nutrition, I had the same thing before this 18 miler.  Along the way, I sipped on my Tailwind and when I made it to the half way point I did another quick assessment of my body. Everything felt great. No pain. No GI issues.

Finishing up that day was a myriad of emotions. Tired? yes. Hungry? yes. Sore? yes. Happy? yes. Grateful? yes. Everything all at once. Beyond 14 is a special place, really. But honestly, anything beyond zero is a huge score. ;)



*SHORT REVIEW OF AVANTREE JOGGER

This wireless Bluetooth headset is just what I needed. My iPhone earbuds are good, but I couldn't keep the wires from getting tangled in my necklace. I looked for Bluetooth headsets but everything I saw was very expensive and got okay reviews. This one was reasonably priced so I tried it.

What I liked:

-Easy to link the device to my iPhone
-Range of the Bluetooth was at least 40feet.
-Sound quality is pretty good.
-Comfortable to wear.
-Inexpensive. (under $40)

-What I didn't like:

-No battery indicator. (only beeps when it's dying)

**SHORT REVIEW OF THE MAZAMA SIDE STREAM

Trying to find a product for carrying my water/nutrition wasn't a priority for me a few months ago, but just like with the headset, I searched the web for something I would be comfortable with. I almost bought the Ifitness fuel belt or the Amphipod belt then I stumbled upon this.

What I liked:

-Compact design for carrying 1.3L
-No flasks
-Sits snug on lower back, no bouncing.
-Retractable drinking tube so you don't have to stop and sip
-Quality materials
-Pockets for carrying phone, gels etc

What I didn't like:

-Hard to get the last little bit of water out when emptying the bladder.
-The adjustable belt accommodates all waists but the excess belt just hangs down.
-A little noise from the liquid sloshing. Not a big deal really, but you can hear it

I chose this particular one for now because it sits comfortably around my waist with the bladder on the small of my back. I would eventually like to try a vest one. But this one suits my needs right now.

***SHORT REVIEW OF TAILWIND NUTRITION

I mentioned how important nutrition is. We've all had those awful moments while running and hitting that wall.  It's no fun.  But as much as it's not fun, it does significant damage to your body and recovery time. Just like you, I've tried lots of stuff. Tailwind nutrition is not new to the market, but new to me.

What I liked:

-Great flavor.  Not sugary sweet.
-Easy to mix. No residue
-No tummy problems
-All in one drink: electrolytes, energy and hydration.

What I didn't like:

-I hate to say 'nothing' but since I've tried other things I was totally impressed with it.

Mixed up the lemon flavor with the recommended 24 oz of water and added to my Mazama. Sipped the whole 18 miles. Never felt like I needed anything else the whole time. Wasn't thirsty, hungry. Didn't ever hit a tired moment during that whole run. Post run I felt great. Felt like it aided in recovery. Although it could just be that since it gives you everything you need DURING the run your body doesn't need much after.


If you have any questions about these items please ask.  Thanks for reading.



Next up:
trail running and road to crazy

Running love.

Do I love running ? Certainly. Do I hate running? Absolutely.  Confused? Thought so.
Let me be frank.  Running sucks! But there's something about it that I LOVE. Seriously though. Is it the 'runners high' ? Maybe. But that doesn't always happen DURING the run, but mostly after. Am I right?

During the run, I'm usually talking myself into it for the first half mile. At the mile marker I'm evaluating my run.(AKA talking to myself) And my body. "Is my form ok? Am I leaning forward enough? Are my strides short?" Then body "Is my knee hurting? Please don't hurt. My calf is hurting. What the eff? Why does it hurt? Why am I breathing this way?"  There's more, but you get the idea.

At some point along the way though I am really diggin the run.(Yes, I said 'diggin') I mean what's NOT to love about getting out there in nature and taking in the fresh air and the cleansing heat. DID I SAY CLEANSING HEAT?! What the eff Liz?! It is cleansing in a sense. The sweat dripping down your face, legs, arms and um...

Okay, maybe cleansing is the wrong word.  There is no other word for "going out on a hot/humid day to run and sweat your ass off."  This is what I'm talking about.  Who does this and loves it? Not me! So, then I ask you, 'WHY are we doing it?!'

MY TOP TEN:

10.  If I'm going with "sweat is fat crying"  then here's my number 10. Cry me a river. (video only cuz I love JT)

9.  It's cheaper than therapy.  Not so fast!  In my case, therapy is WAY cheaper. But going out and having conversations with yourself while running (like me) is kinda like "sticking it to the man"

8. I love shoes. Lots of shoes. And since I streak, I NEED lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of shoes! Shoes for the road, shoes for the trail. Thick soled shoes, thin soled shoes. And everything in between. Altra is my shoe of choice for ANY surface.

7. I love gadgets. bluetooth headset, Garmin, Fitbit, hydration pack. You name it, I'll want to try it.

6. I love food! This is a no brainer. Talk to any runner and they'll tell you they run so they can eat whatever they want.  (and drink)

5. I love the pain and torture from running. DUH!

4.  I love being outdoors and enjoying the fresh air. Minus the heat/humidity. Minus the freezing temps. I take that back. I love the freezing temps and seeing my breath in the air. Also, running in the snow or rain is a BONUS!

3. I love the sense of accomplishment of getting 1 mile done or 10. No matter the pace.

2. I love pushing myself beyond my limits. I am never sure how far that it is from day to day. There is  so much excitement in that.

And the number one reason:

It's the only thing keeping me from choking people.  Just kidding.  No, really.  I don't like myself when I don't run. And most of my family doesn't like ME when I don't run.

At the end of the day, running is a gift for me. I will never take for granted that I have 2 capable and strong legs that bear the weight of my journey.  Every step I take gives me peace in my mind, my body and  my soul.

You know what? I was right about the cleansing after all.  Time to go sweat. ;)




Up next: Beyond 14 (and reviews of tailwind, avantree jogger and mazama sidestream)

Bitchin While Running

Let me just start by saying that I am a happy person. I try to live in the moment and not let things bother me. That being said, it doesn't mean that I can't bitch. In fact, it's better to get it all out. We all need that.  Okay, maybe I just need that.

I realize that not everything is worth bitching about, but when it comes to running, well...there is plenty of foul language that escapes my mouth daily. Mostly when I'm running.

The first round of bitchin starts even before I get out the door. Where the hell are all my shorts!? Damn it.  Looking through my clothes, I pull out all tops.  No bottomless running for me! Found em!

My socks and shoes are on and I'm ready...except for the huge boulder in my shoe. So, I untie my perfectly laced shoes and feel what I think is a big rock in my shoe. Only to discover it is this little bitty thing. Moving on to poop...

Not MINE! ewwww!! Dog poop.  But before the poop, I am pacing the driveway waiting for GPS to find me.  Hello! Shouldn't be that hard. Ever see the show 'Person of Interest'? I know they're watching...somewhere. Makes me feel safe. (kidding) I know its a show.  Now on to poop..

Everyone in my community thinks that just because we pay our homeowner's association fees which in turn pays for landscaping, thinks it's perfectly okay to let their dog shit all over the place. The trail is full of dog shit! If dodging dog crap was an Olympic sport, I'd have won the gold medal every day. It's either dodge it or step in it. There are even free bags and a trash can at the beginning of the trails and a huge sign with an illustration.

"Please clean up after your dog" (idiots) Maybe they can't read...Or see. Anyway, no excuses. Be a responsible pet owner.  And now on to pets..

I once got bit by a dog. That was fun. I was out running minding my own damned business. This woman with her dogs on retractable leashes let's them wrap themselves around my legs in a tangled mess. I felt like a spider in a web. Next thing you know one of them is chomping down on my calf. She managed to wrangle them and apologized. I continued on my run and when I got home I noticed the bite mark. It was bleeding a little and was bruising. I was never ever bit by any dog I owned growing up so I had no idea what to do.  Long story short, hubby had a huge fit and took me to urgent care where I got a shot. The doctor was humored by the fact that I could not escape the little dachshunds. No, I didn't try to outrun them because I've never been afraid of dogs. Now, I am. Even little dogs. I have a dog. I love animals, but I will not hesitate to use my pepper spray or to kick them if need be.  I totally don't think it was the dogs fault. It was definitely operator error. Maybe next time I'll kick the owner instead.  Speaking of stupid people....

I run in a high traffic area. Lot's of cars, lot's of people.Can't escape it.  Let's start with the cars. Yes, I know they're operated by people. But I want to talk about cars. Cars are a pretty big weapon. You can do a lot of damage to things, and more importantly to people. I have had too many close calls with cars. People not paying attention behind the wheel. When I first started running around the city I had the attitude of many, "I have the right of way".  As time went on though this changed. The lady I almost slapped from my last post? I did everything right to keep myself safe and she had no regard for my safety.She blew through a red light through the intersection. Now that's just douchey.  And now speaking of douche bags....

Fellas, I do not need your attention when I'm out doing my thing. I'm NOT out there for YOU, I'm out there for ME. Please do not honk and whistle. It doesn't make me feel sexy and wanted. It makes me feel like you're a douche bag.  Keep your eyes on the road and in your head.

Another time I was going behind a car who was blocking the crosswalk waiting for traffic to clear. A walker  (not the walking dead kind) was on the opposite side of the crosswalk proceeding to walk in front of the car. What does the car do? Backs up to let the guy use the crosswalk. HELLO!!!! I'm back here jackass!  Whew.. close one!

So besides cars, people, poop and dogs... bitchin while running takes energy. Maybe, I'll stop bitchin and start bitching.  Nah. Maybe not. :)




Next up: Running love. Love it or hate it.

Early bird gets the run in

Once upon a time there was a girl who loved to sleep.  She spent her waking hours dreaming of her next siesta. If she lacked sleep she took it out on the chirping birds outside her window. Yelling at them to go away. Sometimes even giving them the bird.

She simply could NOT function on 6 hours of sleep. She absolutely needed 8 or 9.

Then one day, the weather report called for excruciatingly hot temps. 'Oh no!' She whined. 'I cannot go run in THAT kind of heat.  What ever shall I do?'

She thought through her options :

1) Don't run. (Not an option)
     Consequence/problem: Streak will be over.

2) Run in the hot temps. (Obvious choice)
     Consequence/problem: I'll melt and possibly die.

3) Run with ice cream. (Better obvious choice)
     Consequence/problem : none. But it might get messy

4) Have someone follow me with a spray bottle (Right)
     Consequence/problem : None. (Ain't nobody got time for that)

5) Run at night. (Might work. Nah)
     Consequence/problem: Still hot. (See #2)

6) Run in the morning. (Ugh)
     Consequence/problem: No sleep. Bitchy. Bitchy. Bitchy.

Thinking through each one of them carefully she decided her only choice would be to get up early and go for a run.

So Ms. Grumpy Pants got up earlier than normal. Sleep would have to wait. She had her normal cappuccino and wrapped her head around the fact that she was actually up before the sun. BEFORE the sun I tell ya. The first sip of her morning jolt barely made it to her mouth. Dripping on her shirt.  This was gonna be great!

Off she went dragging her feet. Still trying to wake up. The birds chirping all around was the cherry on top.  She turned up the volume on her headset and got lost in her thoughts...and lost on her route.  Okay, okay.. not really lost, just went a different way than normal. Same difference. Point is, this waking up early business was gonna take some time and a lot of caffeine or a miracle.(Or both)

Each morning, she talked herself into that morning run. Convincing herself that it was well worth the grogginess to beat the heat, after all the 'Early bird get the worm'.  And in her case, 'Early bird gets the run in'

The truth was she was in fact enjoying the beautiful sunrise and the crisp morning air..the birds, well not so much.

One Sunday morning she got ready for her long run. She went through her normal routine of putting on her gear and eating a little breakfast.  In place of her coffee, she popped in a PlowOn gum and headed out the door.

A few miles into her long run she felt awake. Energized. A miracle she thought! She plowed through the hills and miles with power. Coffee never did this!! She would finish her long run that day with a new PR and a new bitchin attitude.  With PlowOn gum anything was possible, including being a morning person!  (Maybe)

This morning gig was turning out to be okay in her books. I mean who actually likes running in hot temps? Not this Bitchinrunner. But she will always find something to bitch at.......






Next up: Bitchin while running: Drivers and other annoyances

I'm going streaking!!!!!

Hard to believe that a little more than two years ago I could barely run 2 miles without stopping. 'You've come along way baby!'  No, not the voices.  This time, I'm talking to myself.  Out loud....when I'm trudging up the hills, then trying to control the run down without saying hello to the ground with my face.

Running UP hill is well....horrendous.  At first I feel like a sluggish snail on a slippery slope.(?) Really. I do. Cause I totally know what that feels like. Then a few strides in I feel like a beast.  My arms start pumping like nobody's business and my brain is telling my legs and feet to JUST KEEP MOVING.  A.L.M.O.S.T  T.H.E.R.E.  Whew..  And now.. what goes up.....  Well, you know. All I can hope is that : A) I don't tumble down the hill. B) If I do, I hope no one is watching..or worse, recording it.  I would totally watch it though. And probably laugh my ass off. In this case, it might not cure my humiliation or my busted face.  But I would still laugh.

Speaking of busted faces.  I almost busted this lady's face with my fist.  No, not really. Almost doesn't count. My intent was there, but obviously I'm not a violent person. (I would have used some of my ninja moves if I had to) What she did get was my middle finger.  I flipped her off for at least a quarter mile while running. This takes as much coordination as chewing gum and walking.  I knew she probably wasn't looking through her rear view mirror, but just in case I would keep it  blazing.

Pretty sad that people are douche bags. Not EVERY person. But mostly drivers, when I'm running. And truthfully, I used to be a db driver. Then I started running and realized how dangerous it is out there on the roads. So, call me a hypocrite if you want or douche bag. I get it.

Moving on : I'm going streaking.  Who's with me??

Not THIS kind of streaking, but easier to explain than the other streaking.

I admit, when I saw a couple of guys on  Facebook say they were streaking I thought, "What tha" ?? Then I lurked their photos to see what they were talking about.  No nude photos of them 'streaking'.  So, what are they talking about?!

Can I just say that it totally sucks to have to google EVERYTHING! WHY? Someone answer me!  Why can't I just know EVERYTHING there is to know? WHY?!  Maybe Google knows the answer to why I don't know everything. Nah. Google does NOT know everything. 

So google searched 'streaking'. There are definitions in Merriam Webster and Wikipedia and of course the urban dictionary. All completely different of course. In short you run everyday for at least one mile. After one year you can register with the United States Running Steak association and will remain there as long as you keep running every day for the rest of your life.  

As of today the longest streak on record is held by Jon Sutherland who has been running every day for 16,447 days! That's 45.02 years! (Source:USRSA) DUDE!!!  EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. For Sixteen THOUSAND four hundred forty seven days. THOUSAND! Sorry. I know you get it.  I have been pondering this for days.  But not 16,447 days. That's a butt ton of miles. Bad ass! Just sayin'.

Not to be outdone by this Jon fella, I decided I would start my own streak.  To be clear, its the running streak, not the other.  No one would wanna see that. NO.ONE.  

It took me a while to process what I was committing to. Running. Every day. Forever.  Now I haven't always been thrilled with running. I love it some days and hate it other days. And for the record, I'm pretty sure it feels the same way about me. But if this Jon guy can do it, well, I sure can do it.  The hard part of this streaking business isn't the mile I have to run everyday. And it's not the remembering to go and run every day. Nope. The hard part is justifying your craziness to others who don't get it. "You're doing what??"  And "Why?!!" And my favorite "It's where you go walking around naked?!"  Oh, and "Isn't it unhealthy to run that much?"  Seriously people.  Seer.ee.us.lee.

Hello, day 78!  That's right, baby!  I made it through Seventy eight days of running every day. Are you impressed? It's totally okay if you're not.  It's okay if you think I'm crazy too.  I KNOW that I am. But I am one crazy bitchinrunner. And I love being that. Love it. For right now anyway.

When I run my next half marathon and/or marathon later this year, I might change my tune.  For now, I'm singing my theme song "Let's go crazy".  Wanna come with me?







Stay tuned to find out just how many days I'll go.  Follow me on twitter @bitchinrunner. Like my Facebook page Bitchinrunner or Instagram @Bitchinrunner

Next up:  Early bird gets the run in.

If the shoe fits....buy it

Take one look at me and you clearly see that I am a no frills gal. I love being comfortable.  And just like anyone, I dress up on occasion. Or should I say for an occasion. Weddings, dinner parties and date night. I have in fact gone to some events in jeans and heels. Well, not just jeans and heels. I mean I wore a top.  As if.

Anyway, I think wearing things that make you comfortable also make you feel confident. And confidence is sexy. Amiright?! The cute skirt with the 6 inch stilettos is sexy, don't get me wrong. Comfortable? Not so much for me..  But then again, I prefer comfort to awkward. You don't want to see me in any shoe higher than 3 inches. Trust me on that.

My everyday outfit is running stuff. Shorts if it's hot and a shirt. After my run and shower I switch out of the sweaty gear and into clean gear. Much easier since it requires some effort to pick out non running clothes. Plus it's comfortable.

Man, I suck at coming up with other words besides comfortable.  But what other words are there? Hold on..lemme check. *Googles comfortable* Cozy, snug, warm agreeable, pleasant.. There you go. But still not the same. Let me try a few in a sentence. 'My shorts felt snug. These socks are pleasant. My bed is agreeable '. See what I mean?! Not the same. Different.

Moving along. I will use comfortable many more times in the next few paragraphs. That's your warning.

I am not a shoe whore.  Let me just get that out there. My journey through the soles of many shoes is cause for concern. But I make no apologies. 

To all the shoes I left behind, you are not forgotten:

Nike Shox,  Nike Vomero,  Nike Air,  Mizuno, New Balance WT1010, New Balance WT101, Adidas, Puma, Brooks pure flow, New Balance  Minimus, New Balance WT810, Asics.

Sadly, it took all these tries to finally get it right.

A little over a week before my second half marathon I was shopping on Zappos for my race outfit. My mind was NOT on shoes, I swear! But as it turns out, I got sidetracked.  By.  Shoes.   Thanks to Zappos free next day shipping, my Altra Intuitions were at my doorstep seconds before I was headed out the door for my run. I read the informational and warning booklet quickly : allow time to adjust to zero drop..yada yada yada.  Laced up ... Wow! Preposterous!!  Ridiculous!  Ridiculously preposterous. 

These shoes.

Bloody hell. The voices were back.  #1: Do not even think about wearing those new shoes for your half. #2: What half?   #1: Quit playing. Don't do it. #2: It's only 13.1 miles. You'll be fine. Trust me.  #1: Don't trust anyone who says 'trust me'. Trust me. #2: STFU!        Great. Now my voices are rambling.

Just 2 miles into my half marathon, I was cursing myself. And all the people wearing the shoes they actually trained in. Damn you people for obeying the cardinal rule of new shoes. Damn you! 

I considered quitting. I couldn't imagine going another step, let alone the thousand steps that were yet in front of me. But I did. The whole time my calves were on fire. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

I finished.  And with a PR no less.  But there I was laughing, yes laughing while my calves were screaming. 

Five months have gone by and I have since bought  2 more styles of Altras. Torin and Olympus. I am so in love with my Torins I bought two pair. I rotate the Olympus in with trail runs to keep my body injury free and my feet happy and 'cozy'.

No question that I will be bringing sexy back. To where I dunno.   Comfort = confidence= sexy. (Back- as in gluteus maximus-back)

If the shoe fits, buy it.

If it doesn't, move on. 

But more important, don't wear new shoes on race day.

Thanks for reading. **Bonus. I didn't use the word comfortable again.**
You're welcome !

Next up: I'm going streaking!

Training. Schmraining

Feels awesome to have a plan. I would know cause I've never had one. Well, not never. I had a plan once. My plan was to create a plan. That counts right?

I went to a dinner party a few years ago where some db was talking about how he didn't need to train for a half marathon. 'I could go run one tomorrow, with no training'.  Well, look at you, Mister fit and fabulous. More like mister ri DICK ulous.  Get. Over. Yourself.   Bitter? Me?!  NO!! Okay.. Well, just a smidge. At the time, I thought 'yeah whatever db'. Today I think 'yeah whatever DB'. Same, but different. (Capitalization on db)

Point of my story is that I believe everyone needs a plan. He probably could have gone out and ran a half marathon the next day. Was it smart to do that? Nope. At least I don't think so. Yeah, I know what you're thinking: 'You did a triathlon with no training'  AND I ALMOST FRICKIN DIED IN THE POOL. 'You also did a half marathon with little training.' AND I FELT LIKE I WAS GONNA DIE.  That which doesn't kill me makes me stronger bs is almost right. I like to say 'That which doesn't kill me makes me a smart ass'.  You know what I learned from those near death experiences?  That you are only as good as the effort you put in.  Commit with everything you have. Don't half ass it. Unless of course you have half of an ass. No. Not even then.

Lifestyle changes come as easy as spreading cold butter on toast. Unless the butter is soft, you end up with a piece of destroyed toast. But it doesn't deter you. You either eat the mangled toast, or get the butter  soft -not melted. Either way works, especially if you're starving and don't care.  But the difference is the approach. My approach, in short was to keep running and to find a healthy balance from a nutritional standpoint.    A ha!    A plan! 

Easier said than done.

My brain needed a break from all the nutrition books I was reading,  but I crammed one last book in. 'It Starts with Food' by Melissa and Dallas Hartwig.  No dairy, no legumes, NO ALCOHOL!! Say what?!!!  OK, well I'm not an alcoholic, but 30 days without a vodka tonic??!  Cray. Zee. The book strongly encourages you to get started immediately. That whole 'I'll start my diet Monday' is probably why.

After 30+ days of Whole 30, I needed a stiff drink AND squishy bread. (That was just the compensation effect talking). I didn't actually have the bread.  Just the drink. X2!  Smooth!  Removing everything that could potentially be affecting my body and then slowly reintroducing those same foods back in was a great start for me.  Caveman/paleo was just scratching the surface. I am not a devout caveman. I switch things up frequently to meet my running demands. Speaking of which....

You can have too much of a good thing. As it happens, I got a running injury. Bleh.  Runner's knee. First rule of run club, do NOT talk about running. No silly. Don't over do it. Do not increase your mileage too quickly or... Or you'll end up on the couch, eating bon bons and watching
The Young and the Restless.  Can I just say that missing one single episode causes lots of friggin confusion. Especially if they suddenly replace an actor with a different one. Oy.

Months went by and my routine was anything but routine. Not running was turning me into a certified biotch. I did what I could do to tame the beast, push ups, core workouts and weight training. Deep down, I was craving a run. More specifically, I wanted to race!  I set my sights once again on the Rock n Roll half marathon in Phoenix. (Jan 2014) Birthday 43!

So, it began.  'It' meaning training. Training schmraining.  Very careful training. I couldn't deal with another injury. With many resources out there, I read a lot of stuff. Like a sponge I absorbed everything I could get in my noggin and set out to move mountains. Well, not quite. But that's what the workouts felt like. Intervals, tempo runs and long runs combined with rest days. Four workout days. I  seriously never knew my body was capable of such things. W. T. F!!! <------ backwards is F.T.W!! That's right: For the Win! I mean who doesn't like feeling like a total badass.??!!! Even if it's just in your own mind.

The beauty of all of this was I was on my way to a second half marathon WITH training.

My plan :  proper training with proper training nutrition.

I knew nothing could stop me now....

Next up: If the shoe fits...buy it

Only half (crazy) marathon

My new found ninja status had me feeling all ninja like. I practiced that cool hand thing they do and wound up flipping somebody off. Totally unintentional. I swear. No more ninja hand gestures for me and no more power to my uncle's comment. Bye Felicia. Adiós. 

Do you hear voices in your head? No? Just me? Never mind.  Let me share with you the conversations we have. Me: I want to eat that pizza and cookies and chips and pie. Voices: Do NOT eat that crap. It's bad for you. Me: But I really want it. It tastes so good. Voices: Okay, eat it. I'll make you feel guilty later. 

Here comes guilt. Oh and look who tagged along.... Thunder thighs.  Awesome. 

I did the best that I could to tame those voices by trying to eat better. Nothing helped. Then I went to my source. My brain. There were some serious cobwebs in there. I cleared the cobwebs and hit the restart button again and again. A few more times adda. Do. The. Trick. 

I was looking for a lifestyle change. Not a diet. For most people, cutting out everything they enjoy is the ONLY way, for me it was sabotage. (Cue Beastie Boy's song 'sabotage') If I was going to change my lifestyle for good it was going to require some compromise.  Nothing radical. So, I went with what I knew.  I ate McDonald's just not super size. I had diet soda instead of regular. I ate fried chicken and removed the delicious crispy skin. (Salivating). 

At home I bought those cute 100 calorie snack packs. Sneaky marketing makes you think they're somehow 'diet'. They're not. Shocker.  (And genius)  So, if they're NOT diet..*scratches head*  what's the point!?!!   Portions, duh! My medulla oblongata was putting it all together. Finally!   My food choices didn't become healthier over night. It took a while to get there. But portions were easy to change. I ate one slice of pizza, not 3(or 5). I ate chips, not the whole bag. And so on. I started to see food in a different way. And because I saw it differently, I ate differently. Happy dance. 

Let me tell you about the word 'active'. It's way different than say 'exercise'. Just the mention of word makes me sweat. But active was gentler. Like exercise's little sister. I had to incorporate some sort of activity into my life. I knew I wasn't going to get up and start running and crazy stuff like that. I am crazy. But running?! Never. I knew I just needed to get up and MOVE. Period. Again, nothing radical. I popped in the tae bo and Pilates DVD and watched. Observed.

Then I DID something radical. I created my own workout. Called 'Tae Pilates'. Get yours today for a special price of 9.99. But WAIT there's more. For a limited time you can get my bonus DVD 'crunches, push ups and more'.  . .  Ok... The DVDs aren't real. I know you're disappointed. Sorry. 

Every single day for just 30 minutes I did my Tae Pilates workout with crunches and push ups.   'Activity'   The proof was in the puddin as I like to say. My body was transforming. Like a transformer but less obvious. But more importantly my inner being was changing. The real excitement came from knowing that I got to this point because my brain was using this formula : eat better (portions) + activity = lifestyle change.  Was this formula perfect? Nope. Far from it. I was eating less junk, but not healthier. Not yet. Small steps, Danielson. [Wax on. Wax off]

This is how it was for a long while. I tried not to change too much too quickly. At least that's what I told myself. Deep down I was missing home. My mom, my sister and all my family. But I kept to the formula. 

A year of living in the East coast was 365 days too many for me. There were positives though. We visited many tourist destinations. New York, Washington D.C., Atlantic City. Went to the ball park to watch the Phillies. And my kids met lifelong friends.  But now, we were homebound. For good. As I've shared my passion for moving in my previous post,  I'll spare you the details. 

Behold! The sight of our majestic Sandia mountains brought tears to my eyes. Home sweet home. 

After a few short weeks I had the need to visit the Dr.'s office. I got on the scale and I couldn't believe my eyes. 130 lbs! Holy crap!  I thought to myself 'what if I ate healthier AND stayed active?!' Mind blown! Honestly though, what if?

For me, the hardest part was over. Not the weight loss.  Remember that was the physical part. Mentally, I was on track. For the most part. 

Six months or so before my 40th birthday I decided I wanted to run a half marathon. Talk about crazy. Perhaps it was taking me a bit longer to adjust back to the altitude. Remember my triathlon adventure? Apparently my memory was suffering as well. I had not done any long distance running. Hell, I had barely done any walking. Yet, my mind was made up. Now all I needed to do was start running. So, I did. Wasn't easy. I managed a walk/run combo for a few weeks and gradually worked up to mostly running. But  still only managed HALF of a half marathon. What was I thinking? 13.1 miles? Yeah. Clearly in over my head. 

The months leading up to the half (crazy) marathon were November and December. Yep, holidays. Yep, food. Yep, busy times. Yep, yep and yep! Hubby took some vacation for the holidays and I in turn took a holiday from my running. Plus, I was enjoying the holiday family traditions. 

I eventually made it back outside to resume my half ass training plan. The race was fast approaching! Would I? Could I?! Should I?! I would never know unless I tried. A week before the race, when most people are tapering after a vigorous half marathon training plan, I was out to tackle 10 or so miles. Call me crazy. I would be happy to agree. 

On race day I prepared myself for the possibility of having to crawl the last few miles so I wore pants so my knees wouldn't get all scratched up. Then before I actually made it to my corral I had to pee like a hundred times. Didn't help that I drank 15 gallons of fluid the day before. Oh and the lines for the porta potty? 26k people racing and they have 10 pottys. Brilliant planning. 

Waiting in my corral I started to feel what animals might feel like in a corral.  All trapped next to other animals waiting for one thing. The signal to get the hell outta there. Who is the genius that came up with corrals for racing OR for animals anyway?  And yet there I was. Among my fellow runners. Elbow to elbow. Foot to foot. It was exhilarating, I won't lie. The lying would come later at mile 11. I kept telling myself that I wasn't going to die. That I would be OK. All lies I told myself. All lies. 

The great news is I didn't die. Obviously. The good news is I didn't have to crawl. But I was perfectly fine with doing it if I had to. I finished my first half marathon in 2 hours and 48 minutes.  I couldn't have been more proud of myself. Inside and out. 

The moment I crossed that finish line I knew that I would be back for more. Not to be better than anyone else, but to be a better version of me!

Next up: Training sucks

Sourpuss

First I would like to say thank you to my (expletive) uncle who remarked on my weight gain some 10 years ago. Would you have kept your rude comment to yourself, I never would have come to my own conclusion that I was 'fat'. NEVER.(sarcasm) I only have to look at my 5'1" self in the mirror daily. Birthing 2 children after all entitles me to carry some extra weight. For how long is up to me. No one is here to judge. Unless of course you're my (not so slim yourself,buddy) (expletive) uncle. He obviously is here to judge me. Obviously. 

The mirror never lies, right? I saw my reflection. My petite frame looked plump at best. Nothing wrong with it really. Yet, his words 'You got fat'. Stung. Bad. My yearly doctors appointment had me at 161 pounds and slightly high bad cholestrol levels. Dr. made her usual plea to eat better and lose a few pounds. Okay Doc. Sure thang (wink wink).  Did I believe my health was at risk from a few pounds and bad cholestrol? Not really. So, every year I made no changes to my lifestyle.    

Then that comment. Not under his breath. Not to someone else. To my face. I fumed, cursed and laughed. Again, laughing cures everything. Then,  just like lots of people I bought workout dvd's, home gym equipment and the like. Even attempted to eat healthier. I watched the videos, even got a few miles on the dreadmill and when I didn't see quick results, I quit. I quit before I gave it a chance. But more importantly, I didn't give ME a chance. It was a mental battle. One I wasn't ready to fight. Yet. 

Now with an impending move across the U.S. for my husband's job, I definitely had no time to focus on anything but moving. Can you relate to the ridiculousness of moving?! I mean packing every single thing. Not just my things, but everyone's things. There should be a rule. Leave your crap and just buy ALL new things where you're moving. If only.  
We moved from our home in the Great Southwest (and our families) to the East Coast. New Jersey. South Jersey. Exit 45.(Jersey joke). Laugh. It's funny. OK. Not really. 

But you know what IS funny? Moving across the country and having everything go wrong. Now that's funny. Funny in a 'what the hell are we thinking ?! ' sorta way. If the universe had been holding up a sign that said 'Get  the eff out of this place'  we missed it. Not like she didn't try and warn us. Housing market was inflated, hubby's job sucked and the humidity did nothing for my curls. (Ok that's not a sign really, but still) The first couple of months of hotel living wasn't so bad. We all felt like rock stars. Rockstars on the road. But without the groupies. And without fame. And money. So, yeah, nothing like a rock star. And. I'm. Rambling. Okkkkayyy.


In the end, we had two bad realtors with home deals gone bad. And the third one was a charm. Figuratively and literally. Thank goodness for him because I was on my way to crazy town. After months of living in a hotel, any home would have been thee perfect home. The day of closing was like a dream. Except for one last HUGE sign from the universe. What is that you ask?  I know you didn't ask. But I know you want to know. This crazy dumb bitch (not a female dog) ran through a red light and plowed into our car. Are you laughing yet?!  No. I know you're not. But WE were. Well not literally laughing, but I SO wanted to evil laugh right there in the middle of the road. In the rain. Did I mention it was raining?  Well played Mother Nature. Kudos universe. I hear ya.

We bummed a ride from our only friend the realtor who said 'hey guys if you don't want to go through with this (closing) I completely understand'. What a guy. He had been so patient with us after two bad realtors and he was willing to let us walk away. We should have ran.  Fast.  But instead, we stayed. For now.

What do you think all that stress did to me? If you said, 'make you an alcoholic'   You would be half correct. I'm not really a drinker. But when the dust settled, I had a few bottles of wine. In one night. For a week. Or two. KIDDING!  Only about the 2 bottle part.  No, really. Stress does a lot to your health. Some people lose weight when stressed. Me? I gain. Because I eat. A lot. At least I used to. 

After ALL that, I was in a fighting mood. If my uncle had been there, I would have for sure punched him. Or maybe just stepped on his foot. A few hundred times. 

The fighter in me had come out in full ninja mode. I was finally ready to tackle my weight. Not for my uncle. Not for my doctor. For ME. The RIGHT reason. Not because someone said I was I was fat. Not because I thought I was fat. Although it did bother me at first. It hurt my feelings. And it was rude. But you know what? I was over it. Sorta

Continued on next blog. :)

Bloggety blog!

So this is happening. I am blogging. I need to get over it. I mean do I really have that much to say? Probably not. I'll end up babbling about something irrelevant to running anyway. So, if I go in a different direction, bare with me. Running forces me to put one foot in front of the other and I eventually get somewhere. Get my drift? I'll eventually get to my point. Just may take you to the crazy parts first. Onward with this here bloggety blog.

To give you a bit of history, I was never in any sports growing up. Unless you count walking door to door asking people if they wanted firewood. During winter. In the snow. For miles. Without shoes, or water. Or food. Honestly, that last part is my dad's story. I've heard it so many times, it's now part of the story I tell. That's it.  Well, obviously not ALL of it. But I did say 'bit' of history. Not my life history. Sheesh. Moving on.

Back in the day people referred to running as jogging. And by people, I mean my dad. He still refers to it as 'jogging'. Yeah. Dad. I'm a jogger. And now a blogger. Go me! I once caught him saying that he went for a 'run'. My smart ass reply, 'you mean you went for a jog?'  Bam! He has never questioned my status again. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter whether you run or jog. I believe they're one in the same. Period. You are moving your feet. Point is, if you feel you're a runner, than you ARE a runner. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

My husband runs.     On occasion.    He used to be an avid runner before he met me. Marriage changes everything. I changed him into an occasional runner. Go me :(  Basketball became his thing for  while. Even baseball. He broke fingers, sprained ankles and jammed thumbs. But you can't keep a great man down. The man is a beast. And my inspiration. When he came home and said that he wanted to do a triathlon, I'm like what the eff is that?? After he explained it, I said 'Why?' Great support, right?! Ya. I thought he had lost his friggin mind. Swim, bike AND run? And they're charging you to do this??!!! Out of your mind I tell you.

For the next several months I sat and watched in horror as he trained. Running, biking, laps at the local pool. Pure torture. Why would anyone do this?? So I did what any person would do, I googled the hell out of that shit. I learned WAY more than I wanted. Chafing, chamois, wet suit, tri suit, gel, lube. You name it. I went from wife to full time coach. I still sat in horror, but I understood the horror now. Go me!   Through my binoculars and while holding my breath, I watched as he swam among the other crazies. That was the only time I got to see him in action. The bike and run course were through the rugged terrain and no spectators allowed. So I basked in the sun listening to others ramble. Just as I am doing here. The sun must have fried my brain after some time or maybe the lack of oxygen from holding my breath earlier because I almost forgot where I was. And suddenly there he was. Ta da! I wanted to cry, but I was dehydrated. So, I dry cried. No. Not fake cried. Nothing fake about it. Dry cry. Leave it at that. Okie dokie.

Maybe the lack of oxygen combined with severe dehydration caused temporary insanity, but I wanted to drink the crazy koolaid! In 2009 I signed up for my very first sprint triathlon. Unlike hubby, my training consisted of a few miles on the bike trainer, a few walks around the block and some wading in a pool. My bad. Thought I could 'get by' with the doggie paddle and back stroke. But what it probably looked like was the dead mans float. No joke.  I was completely exhausted from the effort of NOT drowning that the second leg of the triathlon was excruciating. Six miles into the bike part, I shouted to hubby 'I did NOT sign up for this!!' I was dying. He shouted back 'Ummm, yes you did'  Duh! Hubby, aka coach, aka cheerleader and now motivational speaker was pointing out the obvious. Awesome! And just when I  thought I had nothing left in the tank, I thought right. Slipping through the finish in just 2 hours I had so many emotions. I wanted to cry, but laughed. Wanted to scream, but laughed.  Wanted to punch someone, but laughed. What else is there to do after that? Laugh. It's good medicine after all. After I laughed, I cried. Not from joy, but from my chafed arse. Then I sat across the table from hubby and we had a beer. And a great big cheeseburger.  And then we laughed some more and called it a day. An epic day.




There you have it folks, my first ever blog. Were you bored? I was. Hope you come around for the rest of my crazy adventures.

Next up: Only half (crazy) marathon