Early bird gets the run in

Once upon a time there was a girl who loved to sleep.  She spent her waking hours dreaming of her next siesta. If she lacked sleep she took it out on the chirping birds outside her window. Yelling at them to go away. Sometimes even giving them the bird.

She simply could NOT function on 6 hours of sleep. She absolutely needed 8 or 9.

Then one day, the weather report called for excruciatingly hot temps. 'Oh no!' She whined. 'I cannot go run in THAT kind of heat.  What ever shall I do?'

She thought through her options :

1) Don't run. (Not an option)
     Consequence/problem: Streak will be over.

2) Run in the hot temps. (Obvious choice)
     Consequence/problem: I'll melt and possibly die.

3) Run with ice cream. (Better obvious choice)
     Consequence/problem : none. But it might get messy

4) Have someone follow me with a spray bottle (Right)
     Consequence/problem : None. (Ain't nobody got time for that)

5) Run at night. (Might work. Nah)
     Consequence/problem: Still hot. (See #2)

6) Run in the morning. (Ugh)
     Consequence/problem: No sleep. Bitchy. Bitchy. Bitchy.

Thinking through each one of them carefully she decided her only choice would be to get up early and go for a run.

So Ms. Grumpy Pants got up earlier than normal. Sleep would have to wait. She had her normal cappuccino and wrapped her head around the fact that she was actually up before the sun. BEFORE the sun I tell ya. The first sip of her morning jolt barely made it to her mouth. Dripping on her shirt.  This was gonna be great!

Off she went dragging her feet. Still trying to wake up. The birds chirping all around was the cherry on top.  She turned up the volume on her headset and got lost in her thoughts...and lost on her route.  Okay, okay.. not really lost, just went a different way than normal. Same difference. Point is, this waking up early business was gonna take some time and a lot of caffeine or a miracle.(Or both)

Each morning, she talked herself into that morning run. Convincing herself that it was well worth the grogginess to beat the heat, after all the 'Early bird get the worm'.  And in her case, 'Early bird gets the run in'

The truth was she was in fact enjoying the beautiful sunrise and the crisp morning air..the birds, well not so much.

One Sunday morning she got ready for her long run. She went through her normal routine of putting on her gear and eating a little breakfast.  In place of her coffee, she popped in a PlowOn gum and headed out the door.

A few miles into her long run she felt awake. Energized. A miracle she thought! She plowed through the hills and miles with power. Coffee never did this!! She would finish her long run that day with a new PR and a new bitchin attitude.  With PlowOn gum anything was possible, including being a morning person!  (Maybe)

This morning gig was turning out to be okay in her books. I mean who actually likes running in hot temps? Not this Bitchinrunner. But she will always find something to bitch at.......






Next up: Bitchin while running: Drivers and other annoyances

I'm going streaking!!!!!

Hard to believe that a little more than two years ago I could barely run 2 miles without stopping. 'You've come along way baby!'  No, not the voices.  This time, I'm talking to myself.  Out loud....when I'm trudging up the hills, then trying to control the run down without saying hello to the ground with my face.

Running UP hill is well....horrendous.  At first I feel like a sluggish snail on a slippery slope.(?) Really. I do. Cause I totally know what that feels like. Then a few strides in I feel like a beast.  My arms start pumping like nobody's business and my brain is telling my legs and feet to JUST KEEP MOVING.  A.L.M.O.S.T  T.H.E.R.E.  Whew..  And now.. what goes up.....  Well, you know. All I can hope is that : A) I don't tumble down the hill. B) If I do, I hope no one is watching..or worse, recording it.  I would totally watch it though. And probably laugh my ass off. In this case, it might not cure my humiliation or my busted face.  But I would still laugh.

Speaking of busted faces.  I almost busted this lady's face with my fist.  No, not really. Almost doesn't count. My intent was there, but obviously I'm not a violent person. (I would have used some of my ninja moves if I had to) What she did get was my middle finger.  I flipped her off for at least a quarter mile while running. This takes as much coordination as chewing gum and walking.  I knew she probably wasn't looking through her rear view mirror, but just in case I would keep it  blazing.

Pretty sad that people are douche bags. Not EVERY person. But mostly drivers, when I'm running. And truthfully, I used to be a db driver. Then I started running and realized how dangerous it is out there on the roads. So, call me a hypocrite if you want or douche bag. I get it.

Moving on : I'm going streaking.  Who's with me??

Not THIS kind of streaking, but easier to explain than the other streaking.

I admit, when I saw a couple of guys on  Facebook say they were streaking I thought, "What tha" ?? Then I lurked their photos to see what they were talking about.  No nude photos of them 'streaking'.  So, what are they talking about?!

Can I just say that it totally sucks to have to google EVERYTHING! WHY? Someone answer me!  Why can't I just know EVERYTHING there is to know? WHY?!  Maybe Google knows the answer to why I don't know everything. Nah. Google does NOT know everything. 

So google searched 'streaking'. There are definitions in Merriam Webster and Wikipedia and of course the urban dictionary. All completely different of course. In short you run everyday for at least one mile. After one year you can register with the United States Running Steak association and will remain there as long as you keep running every day for the rest of your life.  

As of today the longest streak on record is held by Jon Sutherland who has been running every day for 16,447 days! That's 45.02 years! (Source:USRSA) DUDE!!!  EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. For Sixteen THOUSAND four hundred forty seven days. THOUSAND! Sorry. I know you get it.  I have been pondering this for days.  But not 16,447 days. That's a butt ton of miles. Bad ass! Just sayin'.

Not to be outdone by this Jon fella, I decided I would start my own streak.  To be clear, its the running streak, not the other.  No one would wanna see that. NO.ONE.  

It took me a while to process what I was committing to. Running. Every day. Forever.  Now I haven't always been thrilled with running. I love it some days and hate it other days. And for the record, I'm pretty sure it feels the same way about me. But if this Jon guy can do it, well, I sure can do it.  The hard part of this streaking business isn't the mile I have to run everyday. And it's not the remembering to go and run every day. Nope. The hard part is justifying your craziness to others who don't get it. "You're doing what??"  And "Why?!!" And my favorite "It's where you go walking around naked?!"  Oh, and "Isn't it unhealthy to run that much?"  Seriously people.  Seer.ee.us.lee.

Hello, day 78!  That's right, baby!  I made it through Seventy eight days of running every day. Are you impressed? It's totally okay if you're not.  It's okay if you think I'm crazy too.  I KNOW that I am. But I am one crazy bitchinrunner. And I love being that. Love it. For right now anyway.

When I run my next half marathon and/or marathon later this year, I might change my tune.  For now, I'm singing my theme song "Let's go crazy".  Wanna come with me?







Stay tuned to find out just how many days I'll go.  Follow me on twitter @bitchinrunner. Like my Facebook page Bitchinrunner or Instagram @Bitchinrunner

Next up:  Early bird gets the run in.